IMPORTANT NOTE PLEASE OPEN AND READ THIS
(started from September 2020)
The episodes sometimes may contain my own personal experience through depression, anxiety issues that I go through, chronic constipation,
eating disorder, mental breakdowns, some personal confessions and other
things that I experienced throughout the time of documenting this…. I have shared the solutions to the things(things that I found helpful)
I have gone through too so it may help the ones who are going through
it…if you feel uncomfortable or triggered reading any part just skip it… you may not wanna read or hear something coz you may not be going through
it but maybe someone else need these things…at least they’ll know they’re
not alone and if anyone shared something in the
comments please don’t make fun of anyone’s situation if you can’t help or comfort then don’t waste your energy in typing
too just to make fun…I wanna create a secure and healthy environment here where people are here
to help each other.... and be there for each other to support and comfort
whenever needed...THANK YOU
P.S. ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE AND SO THIS MAY HAVE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS… BUT PLEASE UNDERTAND AND BEAR WITH ME…LOL🤡🙏
ANOTHER P.S. NOTHING IS SPONSERED IN THIS BLOG EVERYTHING IS BASED ON MY GENUINE EXPERIENCES
If you are going through depression and feel sleepy or feel like you are tired and need rest…just sleep and take rest for a while...its ok💜👀✨😌 taking rest for a while when you feel stressed out and depressed mentally is way much better than avoiding that urge… coz later you’ll feel like your brain is numb…like totally…feels horrible… FOR REAL…💔🙂🤡
I was feeling kind of depressed since the past few days😶…like my brain is out of doing anything …its numb… sometimes I feel dizzy and feel like to sleep all day and sometimes…. I do sleep all day but I’m not asleep actually(?)how should I explain this ??jfdfhgkhs💔🙂🤡
Its just… I don’t wanna get out of bed and I feel pathetic and disappointed in myself…but when I feel ok later… I do get up…and then after I wake up I feel alright
But since pandemic started and we are locked down… this was happening a loooooooot …and I really wanted to break up with this cycle and do something productive…coz if this continues …I know I won’t go nowhere and there are things I wanna do… and making this an excuse to not work on it won’t work…
(is “I don’t wanna do coz I’m depressed” an excuse or a genuine problem?let me know your point of view for this in the comments👇👀🙂)
[3 am thought: there have been day when I really don’t wanna wake up and
face the world like idk I feel scared or something? Coz its all the same
cycle all day and I end up doing nothing for myself…and I feel like my days
are wasted my life is wasted…whats the use to get up???]
WHAT HAPPENED THAT DAY
same cycle was about to repeat…I am feeling not to get up and just keep my
eyes closed but then my life will just flash and then I’ll feel pathetic and end up
doing nothing all day…💔🙂🤷♀️😭
(am I running away instead of facing the day ?again?)
so I avoided to sleep that day… and instead I spent my time cooking and drawing
but then at night I wasn’t
able to sleep and had headache…
then I searched WHAT TO DO TO RELAX YOUR MIND AND SLEEP...
and the thing that worked for me was
ü
eat something
ü drink enough water
ü lay down on bed put earphones in both ears and started to hear 432hz music for relaxing my mind and then when I thought I have calmed down and felt sleepy... I turned it off and kept my phone away from me and then I don't know when I slept...
(I just searched 432 Hz music on YOUTUBE and maybe heard it for
like 5 minutes? and I felt better...but this is
temporary solution...I can't rely on music all the time...I have to find solution to this too...I'll share more things when I find them...if you know
WAYS TO FALL ASLEEP AND WAYS TO RELAX YOUR MIND AND REIEVE HEADACHE
please share them in the
COMMENTS IT MAY HELP MANY OTHERS)
CHANGE
IS SOMETHING I REALLY NEED
RIGHT NOW…BUT CHANGE
IS SOMETHING MY BRAIN AVOIDS
ALL THE TIME…BUT I NEED TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW…COZ IF I DIDN’T CHANGE NOW NOTHING’S GONNA CHANGE…EVER…
Ok…so maybe I had headache that day coz I changed everything abruptly… and
it’ll take some days maybe to get used to the new routine…good things take
time…maybe after 4-5 days il get used to this and my headahce will be
gone??…
But pushing myself to do something different suddenly was a bit harsh on myself I guess…its ok…I’ll do it little by little…I won’t sleep all day…I’ll try to get up…but I won’t PUSH myself to do something I KNOW I DON’T LIKE TO DO…🤡🤡Drawing and cooking…ok let me be honest here...it’s not my thing… it’s not something I like to do usually…
Everyone is either drawing and improving or
discovering their talents or cooking and they are having fun doing so coz
they love to do it… but
you will have fun to do things YOU like...
if you are not enjoying or feeling happy when you are doing it… ITS NOT YOUR THING I GUESS... and these ain’t the things I like….and knowing it clearly that
I don’t like to do these things I still tried to do these things…why
did I even started it tho?🤨😶
Looking at others doing it?
Do things that you actually love to do not the things others love to do and that FACINATES you…think about yourself too...
Others may love to draw and cook and drawing and
cooking maybe their hobbies and others may love to do so...but it’s not my thing…
why did I get into it when I don’t like it?Why did I manipulate myself to do things I don’t like? And from when???....when did I start to tangle myself in someone else's life?…when did I start to become like someone else whom I like and start fading myself in their hobbies and start to erase myself?And from when???....whats going onnn?????
Why did I start adapting the hobbies of people I like and making them mine when they weren’t actually….? What are my hobbies? What do I like to do? I didn’t ever thought about this….i just saw people doing something and if I found it fascinating I did it too? Was it like that? They are doing it and having fun…I’ll have fun too? Is that what I thought? But it doesn’t work that way…was I pretending to be happy doing those things?…
thank god I figured out
the things I’m doing are not making me feel the way I thought they are
doing actually…was I pretending to be happy? what am I doing with myself?…
I think I have started to find myself...maybe this realization was a small
step towards knowing how many things I have changed in me
just because I saw someone do it and thought its fascinating? My life was so fckn influenced by the people I see…??i never thought
about it… But now…I will do the things I like not the things others
like...let me be me and not someone I like…
I realized it...now its your turn…think about it…anything that you are
doing right now…are you happy about it? are you happy while doing it? or
you are pretending to be happy too?
-----End of episode-----
Let me know in the comment
section below about how you are feeling or about anything you wanna share
with me…you can dm me on
instagram too…I will try
to answer everyone before I go to sleep every day… coz
by being there for each other may solve many problems…we can solve it
together…💜✨
You are precious✨...you are strong…✨💜BORAHAE…💜✨
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DOWN SOMETHING…I”ll get a bit motivted…
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