IMPORTANT NOTE PLEASE OPEN AND READ THIS
(started from September 2020)
The episodes sometimes may contain my own personal experience through depression, anxiety issues that I go through, chronic constipation,
eating disorder, mental breakdowns, some personal confessions and other
things that I experienced throughout the time of documenting this…. I have shared the solutions to the things(things that I found helpful)
I have gone through too so it may help the ones who are going through
it…if you feel uncomfortable or triggered reading any part just skip it… you may not wanna read or hear something coz you may not be going through
it but maybe someone else need these things…at least they’ll know they’re
not alone and if anyone shared something in the
comments please don’t make fun of anyone’s situation if you can’t help or comfort then don’t waste your energy in typing
too just to make fun…I wanna create a secure and healthy environment here where people are here
to help each other.... and be there for each other to support and comfort
whenever needed...THANK YOU
P.S. ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE AND SO THIS MAY HAVE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS… BUT PLEASE UNDERTAND AND BEAR WITH ME…LOL🤡🙏
ANOTHER P.S. NOTHING IS SPONSERED IN THIS BLOG EVERYTHING IS BASED ON MY GENUINE EXPERIENCES
Agar aap depression se guzar rahe ho and you are feeling sleepy or feel
like aap thak chuke ho aur thoda rest chahiye…just sleep and take rest for a while...its ok💜👀✨😌 taking rest for a while when you feel stressed out and
depressed mentally is way much better than avoiding that urge… coz baadme
dimaag numb ho gaya aisa wala feeling ata hai…feels horrible…
FOR REAL…💔🙂🤡
Kafi dino se muje depressed jaise lag raha tha😶…like brain ekdum thak
chukka hai …its numb… sometimes I feel dizzy and feel like to sleep all day
and sometimes I do sleep all day but I’m not asleep actually(?)kaise samjauuuuuu??? Jfdfhgkhs💔🙂🤡
It’s just… I don’t wanna get out of bed coz I feel pathetic and disappointed in myself…but when I feel ok later… I do get up…and baadme I feel alright
but jabse lockdown hua hai… this was happening a loooooooot …and I
really wanted to break up with this cycle and do something productive…coz aise hi chalta raha to I know I won’t go nowhere…
and there are things I wanna do… and making this an excuse to not work on
it won’t work…
[3 am thought: there have been day when I really don’t wanna wake up and
face the world like idk I feel scared or something? Coz its all the same
cycle all day and I end up doing nothing for myself…and I feel like my days
are wasted my life is wasted…what’s the use to get up???]
THAT DAY….🌇⛅🌆
same chiz fir ho ri hai…I am feeling not to get up and just keep my eyes
closed but then my life will just flash and then I’ll feel pathetic and end up
doing nothing all day…
(am I running away instead of facing the day..? again?)
so I avoided to sleep that day… and instead I spent my time cooking and drawing
AUR FIR...🙂💔🤡
but then rat me... itne laaaaaammmmbeeeee din k baad bhi... I wasn’t able to sleep.... and had headache…
then I searched WHAT TO DO TO RELAX YOUR MIND AND SLEEP...
aur jo chiz kaam kari wo ye thi...
ü kuch kha lo
ü
drink enough water
ü
lay down on bed put earphones in both ears and started to hear 432hz
music for relaxing my mind and then when I thought I have calmed
down and felt sleepy... I turned it off and kept my phone away from me and
then I don't know when I slept...
(I just searched 432 Hz music on YOUTUBE and maybe heard it for
like 5 minutes? and I felt better...but this is
temporary solution...I can't rely on music all the time...I have to find solution to this too...I'll share more things when I find them...if you know
WAYS TO FALL ASLEEP AND WAYS TO RELAX YOUR MIND AND REIEVE HEADACHE
please share them in the
COMMENTS IT MAY HELP MANY OTHERS)
CHANGE
IS SOMETHING I REALLY NEED
RIGHT NOW…BUT CHANGE
IS SOMETHING MY BRAIN AVOIDS
ALL THE TIME…BUT I NEED TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW…COZ IF I DIDN’T CHANGE NOW NOTHING’S GONNA CHANGE…EVER…
Ok…so headache isliye hua coz I changed everything abruptly maybe… and
thoda din lagega “used to” hone k liye …good things take time…maybe 4-5 din
baad sir dard na ho…
But pushing myself to do something different suddenly was a bit harsh on myself I guess…its ok…I’ll do it little by little…I won’t sleep all day…I’ll try to get up…but I won’t PUSH myself to do something JO MUJE ACTUALLY PASAND NHI HAI…🤡🤡Drawing and cooking…ok let me be honest here...it’s not my thing… it’s not something I like to do usually…
tumhe jo b hua wo dekh kr mazaa aa rha hoga...but muje sirf end me mom ne jab bole k drawin krke maine acha banaya hai tabhi hi khushi huyi...baki cooking and drawing k process me to I was trusfrated af...🤡💔🙂😭
sab log are drawing and improving or discovering their talents ya cooking kar rahe the aur unhe maza aa rha tha coz unko wo pasand hai but you will have fun to do things you like if you are not enjoying or feeling happy when you are doing it… its not your thing.. aur muje nhi pasand or maine ye do chize krne ka try kiya jabki muje achese pata tha I don’t like doing these things…why did I even started it tho?🤨😶
Dusro ko dekh kr q chalu kiya bhai?
Jo pasand hai wohi karo...dusre kar rahe hai ye dekh kr khud b karoge
aisa nhi…khudke bare me bhi socho…
maro koi meko ghkgzfd….
Other people may love to draw and cook and drawing and cooking maybe their
hobbies and others may love to do so...but it’s not my thing…
why did I got into it when I don’t like it?Why did I manipulated myself to
do things I don’t like? And from when???....when did I started to tangle myself in someone else's life?…when did I started to become like someone else whom I like and started
fading myself in their hobbies and started to erase myself?And from when???....
jo dusre log muje pasand hai unki hobbies
khud
adapt q karne lag gayi mai
jabki wo meri hai hi nhi? meri hobbies kya hai…muje kya acha lagta hai? ye to kabi socha hi nhi…bas
log kar rhe hai…unhe maza aa rha hai… muje b ayega…mai b karungi…ye soch kr kiya maine?…lekin aisa hota nhi hai na…
thank god I figured out
k jo kar rhi hu wo jaisa muje lag rha tha waisa nhi hai…
it’s not me …was I pretending to be happy? What am was I doing with
myself?…
I think I have started to find myself...maybe this realization was a small
step towards knowing how many things I have changed in me
just because I saw someone do it and thought its fascinating? Meri life dusro se inti zyada influenced thi kabi socha hi nhi… But now…I
will do the things I like not the things others like...let me be me and not someone I like…
Ab maine realize kiya aap bhi kar lo…socho is ke bare me… jo aap kar
rahe ho use aap sahi me khsuh ho?ya you are pretendimg to be happy
too?
-----End of episode-----
Comments me batao muje how you are feeling or about anything you wanna share with me…you can dm me on instagram too…I will try to answer everyone before I go to sleep every day… coz by being there for each other may solve many problems…we can solve it together💜✨
You are precious✨...you are strong…✨💜BORAHAE…💜✨
P.S.DON’T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE TO MY BLOG TO GET
EMAIL UPDATES WHENEVER I POST ANYTHING NEW(I’LL POST EVERY SATURDAY PROBABLY)…
ALSO PLEASE COMMENT
DOWN SOMETHING…I”ll get a bit motivted…
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